Free Write Friday ~ H.A.T.E.R.’s, Jazz, The Fog of Breast Cancer, and BFF’s Sounds by: Gil Fuller & Monterey Jazz Festival – A Patch Of Blue – Feat. James Moody

FreeWrite Friday

 Music is the space between the notes…”  ~ Claude Debussy

My mother and I were more than best friends forever (BFF’s), we were sister warriors in the battle against breast cancer.  This journey began over sixteen years ago on October of 1997 after dad died.  I was truly blessed because mom taught me the significance and grace of unconditionally loving another person, and she has always encouraged me and supported me in every aspect of my life.  We stemmed the tides of loss, grief and pain throughout the whole process.  We were each other’s caregivers.

Romare Bearden Collage1
Romare Bearden Collage1

If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”  ~ Paulo Coehlo

Dad introduced and taught me using valuable jazz lessons how to handle the rigors of the harsh realities of choosing to live a creative life.  Initially, I was confused about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  My father didn’t want me to go into music, dance, acting, blah, blah blah because he was angry at the way the “Arts” treated women.  He thought it was safer to be a doctor.  He would get angry and tell me that it was no place for a lady!  In my father’s case I believed that he wanted to become a doctor.  He was a man of intensity and commitment and I never really knew that he felt he was protecting me.  Looking back I realized it was his way of preparing me to stand my ground and confront my ego, negative thoughts, fear, failure and the challenges that we all face by accepting that like change it is necessary for us to connect with our God given spiritual gifts.  Leaning in and coming face to face with a challenge it signals that you have to awaken to those gifts using them to overcome it.

The rutlandcitypublicschoolsdotorg Jazz Music
The rutlandcitypublicschoolsdotorg Jazz Music

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” ~ Paulo Coehlo

The possibility of living a creative life transformed me by using mindfulness improvisation!  is when “Jazz” the Catalyst”  has ability to interact in a manner specific to the intensity of the vibration frequency of “Cancer” connecst with the higher consciousness “mindfulness improv” that will enlighten, inspire, provide the energy that becomes the “substrate” that changes you.  Listening is a portal giving you the ability to discern the egos “chatter of negativity from what resides in the heart of fear.  It wasn’t an option in that moment.  It was like breathing.

Pablo Picasso Painting
Pablo Picasso Painting

And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Fortunately I discovered I have to write because it gives me the sense of who I am.  It was the response to the Call to the life that was given me.  When I combine the blessing my father gave me “jazz” when he took me to rehearsals, festivals, recording sessions;  and his introduction to the players like, Dizzy GillespieJames MoodyCount BasieIgor Stravinsky, and Ralph J. Gleason and  Charles Champlin of L.A. Times that  individually and collectively inspired and nurtured me to devote myself to a creative life.  I thought I was secretly writing in my journals — poetry and lyrical prose/essay that I created when dad was composing songs on the piano downstairs in 1963.  I was surprised to found that he knew all about my writing secretly in my room when I found in the Gibson guitar case he gave me when I was 9.  I opened it up and found all of my writing nestled between sheet music.  It was my Aha! Moment when I realized what a blessing my father gave me of living wonderfully enchanted life of musical thinking where my words can separate sound from music. Writing was my Response to my life’s adversities like cancer, writer’s block

I am truly NOT a H.A.T.E.R.(Having Anger Toward Everyone Reaching Success) of Breast Cancer….

The minute the word cancer entered our house, everything changed. I felt desperate and frightened by the prospect of cancer and another death.  But I refused to take this lying down.  I dove directly into the cresting wave of the unknown and sprung into action—there were logistics to deal with and mom needed support.  I moved back in with her after dad’s death and we struggled with missing dad, but also dealing with taxes and issues related to her therapy.

Chemotherapy is brutal. Radiation was something way beyond that.. The goal of these therapies is to kill everything in your body before it kills you. I wanted to take the burden off her. When dad had his massive stroke he was on a respirator and in a coma we asked my brother to make a tape of dad’s music to play continuously in his ears.  After ten days, he was out of the coma and was breathing on his own.  You can’t tell me that God didn’t have a role in that.

Surreal Last Exit

‘My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,’ the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky. ‘Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.‘”  ~ Paolo Coehlo

Chemotherapy makes everyone suffer.  Facing fear and suffering I decided to bring a tape of my father’s music into the chemo suite when she had chemo and radiation therapy and it majestically made the most terrifying moments evaporate from both of us. It not only served as a connection between the two of us, it was a connection for the other patients and the hospital staff as well.   We laughed and interacted with one patient in particular, Pat.  Pat had colon cancer.  It had metastasized and spread to her bone.  I met her when I had my mastectomy and she lay in the bed next to me after surgery.  Mom came in and waited for me to come around.  I opened my eyes and there they were.  What a beautiful sight.  Apparently mom and Pat formed a bond.  When mom had the pick put in, Pat hovered over me like a lioness guarding her cubs.  After the pick was in mom, she developed a serious infection they could not control.  After a week, mom was moved to a nursing home in Paramus New Jersey for 90 days.  I couldn’t drive so Pat would come and sit on my bed holding the phone while we talked to mom and talked until the nurse came in and told us she would have the phone removed. Mom had two daughters now.  That spring all we did was laugh and act silly….More to come… See you between the words…, Peace and Love Out! JBC -8) & <3.

Japanese translation for meaning
Japanese translation for meaning

© Copyright 2011-2014  by Jannat Marie/Jazzybeatchick. All rights Reserved.

This material has been copyrighted, feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks or added to websites; please do not change the original content and please provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name or visual artist @ http://jazzybeatchick.com your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

Jazzin’ Thru Thursday ~Mindfulness, Improv and Jazz: The Wow Factor ~ Oh My! Featuring Ballet Dance Jazz J. Company – Mindfulness Meditation Jazz

 

Jazzin' thru Thursday
Jazzin’ thru Thursday

 

I found out you have to study the culture of the music as well in order to learn jazz.” Regina Carter: Improvising A Life In Jazz

 

jazz improv

 

You know you are immensely creative?  No seriously.  Don’t deny it.  Since you were born, you were given the gift to constantly create your reality.  Some of us engage in it more than others.  Sometimes folks tell you that you are not creative or even you don’t consider yourself a creative type well the truth is that you are constantly creating ideas with every breath that you take.  Jazz can teach us about mutual respect, to nurture our own creativity, spontaneity and how we interact with ourselves and one another and accentuates our innate ability to thrive and build our sustainability skills.

Mindfulness is an invitation to become aware of the constant flow of the universe both inner and exterior and gives us the choice to acknowledge it and either get into the rhythm or to choose to let it flow outside in harmony.   When we become aware of ideas from a sense of serenity at the shore of the ocean or stream you are more likely to develop a different perspective and with that insight will see things in the light of all the commotion that is swirling around us.

 

When mindfulness is combined with jazz’s art of improvisation you become engaged in the process of creating thru words, numbers, music, art, or movement you will never get lost in a concept you actually become a part of the process in its purest form of creativity and enlightenment.  Mindfulness allows us to awaken to the world with childlike wonder and amazement giving us the joy to play with new concepts and seeing and being things from a new perspective.  Judgment and critical thinking is set aside for analysis.  Mindfulness is the ability to let things evolve and not interfere.  It allows you to be patient and know that things are about to happen and not having any expectations of how things will turn out.

The Wow Factor according to Collins dictionary is an informal striking or impressive feature that stimulates us to become creative. Information, trends, media, iPod, iPads, Surface tablets, android or smart phones have invaded our space and taken over our ability to rely on our own devices.  I am so much more connected and happier when I turn those devices off.  Check into a good book, not an e-reader, and watch the television with a big ol’ bowl of my homemade Vegan Ice cream with mangos and pineapple and coconut cream and of course in my p.j.’s.

So let’s get into the Jazz – Just follow what Count Basie said to me at a rehearsal for the Newport Jazz Festival in 1967… “It’s the way you play that makes it . . . Play like you play. Play like you think, and then you got it, if you’re going to get it. And whatever you get, that’s you, so that’s your story.”  We are all story’s waiting to be told.  Mindfulness just gets your head back into the process.   There is fullness in every moment filled with possibilities and is unburdened by our expectations.

It’s easy to make mindfulness improve a part of your life. You already have it!  Just close your eyes and remember those moments when you played until your mom or dad had to pry you away.  Losing all sense of time, space, and everything that was outside of the moment you were fully engaged in.  Just go back.  Don’t think it is silly, maybe it is.  So what!  I know when I got the horrible news that I had breast cancer my mind froze.  Then I felt I was thrown into some vortex of fear, denial, loss, anger, betrayal and the fear surrounding death.  I knew in that precise moment that I had to go back to the times that mom and dad came to the tennis courts at my high school at nine o’clock at night to bring me home because it was dark and I was still hitting those iridescent yellow balls against a junior from Northwestern University who was an alumnus of my high school.  That is what being in the Jazz or in full WOW FACTOR MODE is all aboutAre you ready, then gear up, bring whatever suits your fancy ‘cause man this is gonna be out of sight!  See you there, keep looking for the space between the notes or words or artistic expression.  You will see that you are beyond WOW, You are Amazing!  Peace and Love Out!  JBC 😎 and ❤  It is like an Oreo, it’s Wonder- filled…

Japanese translation for meaning
Japanese translation for meaning

© Copyright 2011-2014  by Jannat Marie/Jazzybeatchick. All rights Reserved.

This material has been copyrighted, feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks or added to websites; please do not change the original content and please provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name or visual artist @ http://jazzybeatchick.com your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

Poet’s Beat ~ “unfinished poem” by Carol Bergé accompanied by Kyle Eastwood’s “Summer Gone”

Modern-abstract-painted-porch-decoration-
Modern-abstract-painted-porch-decoration-

I have been hard at work writing the memoir.  When I begin to feel overwhelmed, I take a Mindful Awareness check to allow the fleeting negative self talk that rudely drops in the second I think I am swinging into full rhythm.   This can take a few minutes to a half an hour.  I get my sketch pad out and conjure up images that are flowing through my soul.  It has become a part of the process.  It is because I love writing more than my hating the blank page.  In high school when I was playing on the tennis team, I read a book by Timothy Gallway entitled Inner Tennis it changed my life.  It seems as though Jazz and mindful awareness also referred to as Mindfulness has moved my life away from entropy to a more “being” state with a smile inside/out.Peace Out!  JBC 😎

 

 

unfinished poem

by Carol Bergé

 

to go out
to the world
this time dressed as a
japanese printmaker,
not the eye of
epicanthus, but
yes,
perspective
as that of an island:
out, out into a world,
to find it earth! and
more simple, complex
than it seemed:
reducible
to a few lines with
shadings, the wood
to its grain
rather than to the
external form.
what
part of earth are you!
and after that, to
go out,
perhaps dressed as a
haida shaman,
finding it
all ocean! and
strewn with cowry: lines
across sand.
once,
the land bridged.
let it
be an earth color:
orange of hematite or
dark as vital loam
where rivers are,
or blue
of roots from
the parched mesas,
saved
distillate of rain
toward one hand.
but always
as this rug:
woven
of wool from a real sheep,
alive, shorn with shears
and dyed
perhaps with berries
until brilliant, or
left so:
the soft natural.
but always
fashioned with
eyes, with hands,
as friends’ faces, worn or
young: with the
nature of it
evident,
brought
out.
Japanese translation for meaning

Copyright 2011-2014  by Jannat Marie/Jazzybeatchick. All rights Reserved.

This material has been copyrighted, feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks or added to websites; please do not change the original content and please provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name or visual artist @ http://jazzybeatchick.com your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

Poet’s Beat ~ “i live in music” by Ntozange Shange

Alvin Ailey Dance-Wade in the Water from “Revelations

i live in music

is this where you live?

i live here in music

i live on c# street

my friend lives on b-flat avenue

do you live here in music

sound

falls round me like rain on other folks

saxophones wet my face

cold as winter in st. louis

hot like peppers i rub on my lips

thinkin they waz lilies

i got 15 trumpets where other women got hips

& a upright bass for both sides of my heart

i walk round in a piano like somebody

else be walkin on the earth

i live in music

live in it

wash in it

i cd even smell it

wear sound on my fingers

sound falls so fulla music

ya cd make a river where yr arm is &

hold yrself

hold yrself in a music

_________________________________________

Copyright © 2014 by Jazzybeatchick. All rights reserved.

This material has been copyrighted,  feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks or added to websites; please do not change the original content and, provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

RiffShot~ My Resolution ~ Leaning into the Present Tense

“We are stronger, gentler, more resilient, and more beautiful than any of us imagine,” …the love of truth and the truth of love that help us live.” ~ Mark Nepo

Jon Kabat-Zinn discusses How Mindfulness can Change Your Life

Mindfulness is the art of living in a higher state of consciousness and the awakening to the life within. Mindfulness is living each day consciously making healthy loving, peaceful, compassionate choices with all of our actions and our reactions reflects those choices. It is learning to see how our minds work and making healthy choices in the way we conduct our lives.  Mindfulness Meditation  includes Buddha’s Eightfold Path: Right view, Right Intention, Right Speech, Right Action, Right Livelihood, Right Effort, Right Mindfulness, Right Concentration.  The Eightfold Path was created to transcend suffering and to achieve Mindfulness.

The overall goal of Mindfulness is the practice of Staying Present:

♪      to be who we are, no matter what

♪      to enter our days and moments to the fullest.

♪      to hold nothing back—by leaning into who we are  and awakening our connection with life in the present tense.

♪      to listen to our own stories and to find our own truth.

So as we fall asleep to 2013 let’s begin our inner pilgrimage by leaning into the present and awakening  to 2014 through self-inquiry, journaling, personal ritual, poetry, art, photography, stories, and blogging.  Happy New Year!  😎


Copyright © 2013 by Jazzybeatchick. All rights reserved.

This material has been copyrighted,  feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks or added to websites; please do not change the original content and, provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

 

Inner Jazz

 

Tempus Fugit…

Lost in childhood

my heart sending rhythms

that are piercing the veil.

Changing and notating chords

phrasing life’s wake

in a soundless and lonely place

My sacred soul callin’ me

to set the sail

wind caressing my face

beyond  every harmonic intent

find new places in the universe that are brimming with grace.

Only one Spirit knows what my story is suppose to be

A response born of mixed ethnic energies

Riffs filled with love and carrying timbre

surviving the ravages

of race, gender and transcending to live yet another day.

Is the measure of a life set in chordal modulations in an ostinato way?

Society mandates the staffs and clefts of our

fates to collide and cascade.

Not knowing who I am in their punitive plight

Changes the scene so much that just for today I am afraid–

That the darkness is muting the sound of light.

Of people who say and do things they really don’t mean and wanna fight.

I manifest my dream to open up and realize that my world is full of whimsy and delight.

Creating an arrangement where the cadence cannot hide the spirit from the night

My native language is Jazz since birth you see

Selfless and ubiquitous.  Forever as One beyond the sea.

I speak jazz in my story and will always remain a melody

~until  eternity…

Copyright © 2013 by Jazzybeatchick. All Rights Reserved.

This material is has been copyrighted,  feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks and added to websites; please do not change for reading the content, provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

Karma – Alicia Keys Smooth Jazz Tribute

Growing up I was always fascinated with Jazz and Eastern principles of living a full and ponderous life.  Just “Being” rather than “being somebody or something.”  Where in the world would we be?  Where are you these days?  For me it is searching for something that I have never lost…Peace Out!

 

Note #189 Jazz on the Object of Letting Go…

Sometimes I like to do visualization and this is one I discovered when I was getting chemotherapy.  I love anything that has photography of the ocean,

 

RiffShots Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald perform STARDUST Together

This song was referenced in post Note #180.  The sheer synergy of these too performing together is totally Show Stopping, Finger Poppin’, Feet Stomping!  It just makes you wanna get up and Air dance your cares away.  Now that’s jazZen!  Peace Out

 

Poet’s Beat ~ Yusef LATEEF “You’ve changed” (1961)

I remember sitting on our patio in our backyard this song was playing on the ginormous speakers in our family room being transfixed by the sounds and the smells of the freesia, jasmine and  lavendar that gently caressed my face.  Mr. Lateef was a good friend of dad’s and who was one of the pioneers to fuse and transform the sound of jazz and Zen life.  Welcome to my world.  Peace Out!