Free Write Friday ~ H.A.T.E.R.’s, Jazz, The Fog of Breast Cancer, and BFF’s Sounds by: Gil Fuller & Monterey Jazz Festival – A Patch Of Blue – Feat. James Moody

FreeWrite Friday

 Music is the space between the notes…”  ~ Claude Debussy

My mother and I were more than best friends forever (BFF’s), we were sister warriors in the battle against breast cancer.  This journey began over sixteen years ago on October of 1997 after dad died.  I was truly blessed because mom taught me the significance and grace of unconditionally loving another person, and she has always encouraged me and supported me in every aspect of my life.  We stemmed the tides of loss, grief and pain throughout the whole process.  We were each other’s caregivers.

Romare Bearden Collage1
Romare Bearden Collage1

If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”  ~ Paulo Coehlo

Dad introduced and taught me using valuable jazz lessons how to handle the rigors of the harsh realities of choosing to live a creative life.  Initially, I was confused about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  My father didn’t want me to go into music, dance, acting, blah, blah blah because he was angry at the way the “Arts” treated women.  He thought it was safer to be a doctor.  He would get angry and tell me that it was no place for a lady!  In my father’s case I believed that he wanted to become a doctor.  He was a man of intensity and commitment and I never really knew that he felt he was protecting me.  Looking back I realized it was his way of preparing me to stand my ground and confront my ego, negative thoughts, fear, failure and the challenges that we all face by accepting that like change it is necessary for us to connect with our God given spiritual gifts.  Leaning in and coming face to face with a challenge it signals that you have to awaken to those gifts using them to overcome it.

The rutlandcitypublicschoolsdotorg Jazz Music
The rutlandcitypublicschoolsdotorg Jazz Music

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” ~ Paulo Coehlo

The possibility of living a creative life transformed me by using mindfulness improvisation!  is when “Jazz” the Catalyst”  has ability to interact in a manner specific to the intensity of the vibration frequency of “Cancer” connecst with the higher consciousness “mindfulness improv” that will enlighten, inspire, provide the energy that becomes the “substrate” that changes you.  Listening is a portal giving you the ability to discern the egos “chatter of negativity from what resides in the heart of fear.  It wasn’t an option in that moment.  It was like breathing.

Pablo Picasso Painting
Pablo Picasso Painting

And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Fortunately I discovered I have to write because it gives me the sense of who I am.  It was the response to the Call to the life that was given me.  When I combine the blessing my father gave me “jazz” when he took me to rehearsals, festivals, recording sessions;  and his introduction to the players like, Dizzy GillespieJames MoodyCount BasieIgor Stravinsky, and Ralph J. Gleason and  Charles Champlin of L.A. Times that  individually and collectively inspired and nurtured me to devote myself to a creative life.  I thought I was secretly writing in my journals — poetry and lyrical prose/essay that I created when dad was composing songs on the piano downstairs in 1963.  I was surprised to found that he knew all about my writing secretly in my room when I found in the Gibson guitar case he gave me when I was 9.  I opened it up and found all of my writing nestled between sheet music.  It was my Aha! Moment when I realized what a blessing my father gave me of living wonderfully enchanted life of musical thinking where my words can separate sound from music. Writing was my Response to my life’s adversities like cancer, writer’s block

I am truly NOT a H.A.T.E.R.(Having Anger Toward Everyone Reaching Success) of Breast Cancer….

The minute the word cancer entered our house, everything changed. I felt desperate and frightened by the prospect of cancer and another death.  But I refused to take this lying down.  I dove directly into the cresting wave of the unknown and sprung into action—there were logistics to deal with and mom needed support.  I moved back in with her after dad’s death and we struggled with missing dad, but also dealing with taxes and issues related to her therapy.

Chemotherapy is brutal. Radiation was something way beyond that.. The goal of these therapies is to kill everything in your body before it kills you. I wanted to take the burden off her. When dad had his massive stroke he was on a respirator and in a coma we asked my brother to make a tape of dad’s music to play continuously in his ears.  After ten days, he was out of the coma and was breathing on his own.  You can’t tell me that God didn’t have a role in that.

Surreal Last Exit

‘My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,’ the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky. ‘Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.‘”  ~ Paolo Coehlo

Chemotherapy makes everyone suffer.  Facing fear and suffering I decided to bring a tape of my father’s music into the chemo suite when she had chemo and radiation therapy and it majestically made the most terrifying moments evaporate from both of us. It not only served as a connection between the two of us, it was a connection for the other patients and the hospital staff as well.   We laughed and interacted with one patient in particular, Pat.  Pat had colon cancer.  It had metastasized and spread to her bone.  I met her when I had my mastectomy and she lay in the bed next to me after surgery.  Mom came in and waited for me to come around.  I opened my eyes and there they were.  What a beautiful sight.  Apparently mom and Pat formed a bond.  When mom had the pick put in, Pat hovered over me like a lioness guarding her cubs.  After the pick was in mom, she developed a serious infection they could not control.  After a week, mom was moved to a nursing home in Paramus New Jersey for 90 days.  I couldn’t drive so Pat would come and sit on my bed holding the phone while we talked to mom and talked until the nurse came in and told us she would have the phone removed. Mom had two daughters now.  That spring all we did was laugh and act silly….More to come… See you between the words…, Peace and Love Out! JBC -8) & <3.

Japanese translation for meaning
Japanese translation for meaning

© Copyright 2011-2014  by Jannat Marie/Jazzybeatchick. All rights Reserved.

This material has been copyrighted, feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks or added to websites; please do not change the original content and please provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name or visual artist @ http://jazzybeatchick.com your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

Jazzin’ Thru Thursday ~Mindfulness, Improv and Jazz: The Wow Factor ~ Oh My! Featuring Ballet Dance Jazz J. Company – Mindfulness Meditation Jazz

 

Jazzin' thru Thursday
Jazzin’ thru Thursday

 

I found out you have to study the culture of the music as well in order to learn jazz.” Regina Carter: Improvising A Life In Jazz

 

jazz improv

 

You know you are immensely creative?  No seriously.  Don’t deny it.  Since you were born, you were given the gift to constantly create your reality.  Some of us engage in it more than others.  Sometimes folks tell you that you are not creative or even you don’t consider yourself a creative type well the truth is that you are constantly creating ideas with every breath that you take.  Jazz can teach us about mutual respect, to nurture our own creativity, spontaneity and how we interact with ourselves and one another and accentuates our innate ability to thrive and build our sustainability skills.

Mindfulness is an invitation to become aware of the constant flow of the universe both inner and exterior and gives us the choice to acknowledge it and either get into the rhythm or to choose to let it flow outside in harmony.   When we become aware of ideas from a sense of serenity at the shore of the ocean or stream you are more likely to develop a different perspective and with that insight will see things in the light of all the commotion that is swirling around us.

 

When mindfulness is combined with jazz’s art of improvisation you become engaged in the process of creating thru words, numbers, music, art, or movement you will never get lost in a concept you actually become a part of the process in its purest form of creativity and enlightenment.  Mindfulness allows us to awaken to the world with childlike wonder and amazement giving us the joy to play with new concepts and seeing and being things from a new perspective.  Judgment and critical thinking is set aside for analysis.  Mindfulness is the ability to let things evolve and not interfere.  It allows you to be patient and know that things are about to happen and not having any expectations of how things will turn out.

The Wow Factor according to Collins dictionary is an informal striking or impressive feature that stimulates us to become creative. Information, trends, media, iPod, iPads, Surface tablets, android or smart phones have invaded our space and taken over our ability to rely on our own devices.  I am so much more connected and happier when I turn those devices off.  Check into a good book, not an e-reader, and watch the television with a big ol’ bowl of my homemade Vegan Ice cream with mangos and pineapple and coconut cream and of course in my p.j.’s.

So let’s get into the Jazz – Just follow what Count Basie said to me at a rehearsal for the Newport Jazz Festival in 1967… “It’s the way you play that makes it . . . Play like you play. Play like you think, and then you got it, if you’re going to get it. And whatever you get, that’s you, so that’s your story.”  We are all story’s waiting to be told.  Mindfulness just gets your head back into the process.   There is fullness in every moment filled with possibilities and is unburdened by our expectations.

It’s easy to make mindfulness improve a part of your life. You already have it!  Just close your eyes and remember those moments when you played until your mom or dad had to pry you away.  Losing all sense of time, space, and everything that was outside of the moment you were fully engaged in.  Just go back.  Don’t think it is silly, maybe it is.  So what!  I know when I got the horrible news that I had breast cancer my mind froze.  Then I felt I was thrown into some vortex of fear, denial, loss, anger, betrayal and the fear surrounding death.  I knew in that precise moment that I had to go back to the times that mom and dad came to the tennis courts at my high school at nine o’clock at night to bring me home because it was dark and I was still hitting those iridescent yellow balls against a junior from Northwestern University who was an alumnus of my high school.  That is what being in the Jazz or in full WOW FACTOR MODE is all aboutAre you ready, then gear up, bring whatever suits your fancy ‘cause man this is gonna be out of sight!  See you there, keep looking for the space between the notes or words or artistic expression.  You will see that you are beyond WOW, You are Amazing!  Peace and Love Out!  JBC 😎 and ❤  It is like an Oreo, it’s Wonder- filled…

Japanese translation for meaning
Japanese translation for meaning

© Copyright 2011-2014  by Jannat Marie/Jazzybeatchick. All rights Reserved.

This material has been copyrighted, feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks or added to websites; please do not change the original content and please provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name or visual artist @ http://jazzybeatchick.com your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

Part One ~ The Book Proposal for My Memoir: A Song From My Father: A Creative Journey of Race and Legacy ~ featuring Gil Fuller & Monterey Jazz Festival – Things Are Here –Performed by Dizzy Gillespie

I thought it would befitting to tell you that today is my birthday.  Also, last night I had an Aha! Moment when I realized that my website Fifty Shades of Jazz is a composite on canvas of my life….  Importantly it is a composite of the various aspects of my life.  That being said, I feel that I can conceive that there are more than just one book …1- my Breast Cancer journey with my mother (“Saved By Jazz), 2.  Jazz Poetry and Contemporary Visual Arts (“Visual & Acoustic Muse of Jazz), 3.  The one closest to my heart and what I need to write first…Memoir (“A Song From My Father:  A CREATIVE JOURNEY OF RACE AND LEGACY.

The album above would be the companion because it would provide the acoustic substrate for living in the 60’s during the Civil Rights Movement and Countercultural revolution that changed the face and life of America.  I would like to point out that my age is nothing but a number because it my no means does any justice to my challenges and finding meaning in my life or mindfulness improvisations that I learned from my father in the life lessons in jazz.  That jazz creates the same creative inspiration and my instrument and I have to play the utterances that manifest when listening to the sounds that are translated into words.  I would love to know what you are thinking when reading this post because it is the best way to know if I am making the sounds come true in my words.  Besides I love hearing from you…  Thank you for sharing my birthday with me…Peace Out!  JBC

Doodles and sketches for memoir
Doodles and sketches for memoir

Part One

Overview

 

If you were to put  bestsellers  filled  with ingredients  like jazz, culture, life lessons and being a musician, personal transformation and sustainability in MOVING TO HIGHER GROUND:  HOW JAZZ CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE; civil rights riots, insuperable chauvinism, the search for racial identification in America in THE COLOR OF WATER:  A BLACK MAN’S TRIBUTE TO HIS WHITE MOTHER; or have a consciousness raising of living the life you were meant to live as portrayed in DREAMS OF MY FATHER:  A STORY OF RACE AND INHERITANCE add a dash of cross generational creative spiritual journeys amidst the Civil Rights and Counterculture movements of the 50’s and 60’s  in her father’s life it was a passion and dedication to notes and in her life she had fallen in love with the sound of words and jazz, you would be reading A SONG FROM MY FATHER:  A CREATIVE JOURNEY OF RACE AND LEGACY.

In this lyrical, sentimental, and compelling memoir, the daughter of a Creole father and a white American mother searches for her voice and a sustainable creative meaning to her life as a Multiracial American.  It begins in New York in the 1950s on the Upper Westside where her father’s music career as an accomplished  Jazz composer/arranger and band leader take off and who wrote a song for her when she was three years old that inspires a creative spiritual journey in Los Angeles California in the 1960 decade..

The memoir will be divided into five parts of a song:

Overview

If you were to put  bestsellers  filled  with ingredients  like jazz, culture, life lessons and being a musician, personal transformation and sustainability in MOVING TO HIGHER GROUND:  HOW JAZZ CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE; civil rights riots, insuperable chauvinism, the search for racial identification in America in THE COLOR OF WATER:  A BLACK MAN’S TRIBUTE TO HIS WHITE MOTHER; or have a consciousness raising of living the life you were meant to live as portrayed in DREAMS OF MY FATHER:  A STORY OF RACE AND INHERITANCE add a dash of cross generational creative spiritual journeys amidst the Civil Rights and Counterculture movements of the 50’s and 60’s  in her father’s life it was a passion and dedication to notes and in her life she had fallen in love with the sound of words and jazz, you would be reading A SONG FROM MY FATHER:  A CREATIVE JOURNEY OF RACE AND LEGACY.

In this lyrical, sentimental, and compelling memoir, the daughter of a Creole father and a white American mother searches for her voice and a sustainable creative meaning to her life as a Multiracial American.  It begins in New York in the 1950s on the Upper Westside where her father’s music career as an accomplished  Jazz composer/arranger and band leader take off and who wrote a song for her when she was three years old that inspires a creative spiritual journey in Los Angeles California in the 1960 decade..

The memoir will be divided into five parts of a song:

~ Part One – Prelude will begin with a grace note of appreciation to my father.  Jazz as an Imitation of American Life will be a narrative of the author’s life  living immersed in 60’s Watts Riots and how the jazz world became her refuge and salvation.  Feature an article entitled THE UNRECOGNIZED TITAN by Leonard Feather, DOWNBEAT Magazine Feburary, 1966

~  Part Two  –  Measures – will lyrically capture how the author’s exposure to jazz rehearsals and interactions with musicians and writers provided a catalyst to living a creative life as a writer no matter what.  It is what one has to do to live with music or will die with noise and chaos.

~ Part Three – Chorus – will chronicle what the author discovered how mindfulness meditation and improvisation are the elements in jazz that musicians  used to make it through the strife and still expressing oneself as a way of coping and dealing with racism and chauvinism and hostility to be present and lean into her life actualizing a sense of serenity, a peace that thrives on understanding and acceptance. with grace

~ Part Four ~ Bridges – • Homecoming  the author was living in San Francisco, when she found out in November of 1989 that both of her parents were sick and I decided to come home to New York.  On her father’s deathbed the author had a chance to talk intimately with her father and tell him how miserable she felt because she was not living the life she felt was meant for her and wanted him to show her how and if he ever thought she had talent to write.  We came to an understanding before he died and I forgave him liberating us to transition opening his heart to die.

~ Part Five CODA – Finding My Way  – the author discovers the Gibson guitar her father kept for her in the basement and when opening it she realized that he kept all of my poems and journals nestled between the guitar and sheet music and a note he wrote ~ To My Daughter ~ I always knew you could write your heart out and I wrote a song for you to help you to discover that you cannot live without exploring and developing her gifts.

 

The memoir has approximately 75,000 words to date. The manuscript will be completed twelve months after receipt of the advance to help defray editing and publishing costs. It will be written under the pseudonym of Jannat Marie.

musical_note_clip_art_12518

 

Copyright 2011-2014  by Jannat Marie/Jazzybeatchick. All rights Reserved.

This material has been copyrighted, feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks or added to websites; please do not change the original content and please provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name or visual artist @ http://jazzybeatchick.com your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

Note #193 Jazz on: Before Moving On Here are Thoughts on “The Art of Letting Go” by mikaila

Each time I ask myself where I am in the world, I choose live what Ralph Ellison described as choosing to listen to live with music and not to die with the noise.  It is not about what is going on in that moment it is about getting hold of what matters most to you.  Letting go so you can see the path that is awaiting you…  What are holding on to?  Peace Out!  JBC  

RiffShots Louis Armstrong and Ella Fitzgerald perform STARDUST Together

This song was referenced in post Note #180.  The sheer synergy of these too performing together is totally Show Stopping, Finger Poppin’, Feet Stomping!  It just makes you wanna get up and Air dance your cares away.  Now that’s jazZen!  Peace Out

 

RiffShot JOHN COLTRANE Alabama

 

I referenced this selection in post Note #180  listening to get a feel of what my world was like in “A Year of Musical Thinking.”  I learned to just listen sometimes to discern the nuance of the sound and the emotions that prevailed in Jazz during the 1960’s.  Peace Out!

 

Note #181 Eric Clapton – Layla (Jazz version)

 

Who said Jazz is Dead?  Definitely not Eric Clapton and the rest of the Dudes who showed up!

Uploaded on May 24, 2008

Layla di Eric Clapton, in una strepitosa versione live che vede presente David Sanborn, Joe Sample, Steve Gadd e Marcus Miller, tratta dal leggendario Jazz Festival di Montreux

 

 

Note #179 Roberta Flack “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” (1969)

 

We left Los Angeles and moved back to New York in the Summer of 1969.  We stayed with my Grandparents in Jamaica Estates which is in the borough of Queens.  It was a gated community.  I remember laying across my bed looking up at the chandelier that hung in the center of the ceiling reminiscing about the Monterey Jazz Festival and  looking forward to going to the Newport Jazz Festival in Rhodes Island coming up that fall.  I was also starting my first year of high school.  Ironically it was the same high school my mom went to.  I had mixed feelings because even Jazz took on a new personality in New York City.

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face” is a 1957 folk song written by Ewan MacColl for his wife Peggy Seeger. It was popularized by Roberta Flack and became a breakout hit for the singer after it appeared in the 1971 Clint Eastward film Play Misty for Me. Though the song first appeared on Flack’s 1969 album First Take, it topped the Billboard Hot 100 and won the Grammy Award for Song of the Year three years later

 

RiffShot ~ Breakaway by Kelly Clarkson – My Total Freedom from Latest Game Changer Lymphedema!

For me, I am breaking away from Breast Cancer.  Survivor just doesn’t cut it for me anymore!

Grew up in a small town
And when the rain would fall down
I’d just stare out my window
Dreaming of what could be
And if I’d end up happy
I would pray (I would pray)

Trying hard to reach out
But when I tried to speak out
Felt like no one could hear me
Wanted to belong here
But something felt so wrong here
So I prayed I could break away

[Chorus:]
I’ll spread my wings and I’ll learn how to fly
I’ll do what it takes til’ I touch the sky
And I’ll make a wish
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget all the ones that I love
I’ll take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway

Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plane, far away (I will)
And breakaway

[Chorus]

Buildings with a hundred floors
Swinging around revolving doors
Maybe I don’t know where they’ll take me but
Gotta keep moving on, moving on
Fly away, breakaway

I’ll spread my wings
And I’ll learn how to fly
Though it’s not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway
Out of the darkness and into the sun
But I won’t forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And breakaway, breakaway, breakaway

 

 

 

Poet’s Beat ~ Yusef LATEEF “You’ve changed” (1961)

I remember sitting on our patio in our backyard this song was playing on the ginormous speakers in our family room being transfixed by the sounds and the smells of the freesia, jasmine and  lavendar that gently caressed my face.  Mr. Lateef was a good friend of dad’s and who was one of the pioneers to fuse and transform the sound of jazz and Zen life.  Welcome to my world.  Peace Out!