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Free Write Friday ~ A Boomer Remembers the Sounds of Living in the Moment with Bob Kaufman’s ” O-Jazz-O War Memoir” featuring Beatles & Jazz – In My Life

Texture Abstract Jazz Art Paintings Courtesy of bits_r_us.net
Texture Abstract Jazz Art Paintings Courtesy of bits_r_us.net

Music would take over at the point at which words become powerless, with the one and only object of expressing that which nothing but music could express. Debussy

February 26th

Today it appears that spring has sprung.  A warm glow piercing through my window cradling the chill from last evening.  Jung wrote:  “The serious problems in life are never fully solved.  If ever they should appear to be so it is a sure sign that something has been lost.  The meaning and purpose of a problem seem to lie not in the solution but in our working at it incessantly.  This alone preserves us from stultification and putrefaction.”  The San Francisco Bay area is plagued with Homelessness.  I know a thing or two about that because things went totally and literally south last May when I gave up my spacious one bedroom apartment in a lovely community off of Puget Sound in Seattle.  I wasn’t running from anything, rather, I was running for the life that was waiting for me.  Now when I look back, I would have hoped that I could find a place, not like a shelter where I would be able to actualize my dream.  But my dream to write and to help others to overcome adversities like money and a place to live where my dreams can come to life and in accordance with God’s plan for all of us.

So to this end it is only natural that at the tender age of eleven, I had fallen in love with jazz sound and words.  Jazz poetry is the best of both worlds for me.  I have discovered that there ain’t nothin’ in this world I could ask God to give me than the gift of translating notes into words.  Take the shape of a life lived in full measure.  Of course, with that gift I had to face the perfect storms of life and after all that is played and done, a glorious experience and sense of timing.  The art of knowing when to..stop, start, slow it down, staccato and rests carefully placed on the canvas of life.  That knowing has left me craving peace and serenity and knowing deep down to the souls of my heart that the joy comes when we wait.  Waiting is the first born of jazz poetry.

Exploring mindfulness meditations and conversations that give the soul the full acoustic literary dose of memories, dreams, inspiration that expands and awakens the mysterious source of living the life that is waiting for us….  Today I want to take a closer look at Bob Kaufman and unleash the scores of wisdom and insight.  I paired Beatle Jazz with sounds that are a reflection of growing up.  If it were not for the life riff jeering, circumstances filled with timbres that were flat or that shrilled to a thrilling vibrato that casted notes penetrating rhythms of stride that were both arbitrary in nature and where drummers paid homage to the cultural rage and chaos of the streets giving a steady ebb and flow of memory syncopation of tradition with ambient sounds marred by the blue mood of hard times that stirred like a river of notes ornamenting the riots deep and knapped within that scrambled new rhythms and tonal alliterations that struggled against the personal entropy that was disoriented by High Society and an acceptability of just being different.  The battle continues to rage between faux and real, inspiration and economic oppression and to actualize a life that understands human pain and is able to transcend it’s ravages became a snap shot of learning by living from my father and my mother because they have made this all possible…Peace & Love Out!  JBC 8-)♥ (Excerpt from The Sound I Felt”)

Poet Jack Micheline said about Kaufman, “I found his work to be essentially improvisational, and was at its best when accompanied by a jazz musician. His technique resembled that of the surreal school of poets, ranging from a powerful, visionary lyricism of satirical, near Dadaistic leanings, to the more prophetic tone that can be found in his political poems.

 

O-Jazz-O War Memoir: Jazz, Don’t Listen To It At Your Own Risk

by  Bob Kaufman

In the beginning, in the wet

Warm dark place,

Straining to break out, clawing at strange cables

Hearing her screams, laughing

Later we forgave ourselves, we didn’t know”

Some secret jazz

Shouted, wait, don’t go.

Impatient, we came running, innocent

Laughing blobs of blood & faith.

To this mother, father world

Where laughter seems out of place

So we learned to cry, pleased

They pronounce human.

The secret Jazz blew a sigh

Some familiar sound shouted wait

Some are evil, some will hate.

“Just Jazz, blowing its top again”

So we rushed & laughed.

As we pushed & grabbed

While jazz blew in the night

Suddenly they were too busy to hear a simple sound

They were busy shoving mud in men’s mouths,

Who were busy dying on the living ground

Busy earning medals, for killing children on deserted street corners

Occupying their fathers, raping their mothers, busy humans we

Busy burning Japanese in atomicolorcinemascope

With stereophonic screams,

What one hundred per cent red blooded savage, would waste precious

time

Listening to jazz, with so many important things going on

But even the fittest murderers must rest

So they sat down in our blood soaked garments,

and listened to jazz

lost, steeped in all our death dreams

They were shocked at the sound of life, long gone from our own

They were indignant at the whistling, thinking, singing, beating,

swinging,

They wept for it, hugged, kissed it, loved it, joined it, we drank it,

Smoked it, ate with it, slept with it

They made our girls wear it for lovemaking

Instead of silly lace gowns,

Now in those terrible moments, when the dark memories come

The secret moments to which we admit no one

When guiltily we crawl back in time, reaching away from ourselves

They hear a familiar sound,

Jazz, scratching, digging, blueing, swinging jazz,

And listen,

And feel, & die.

Symbol 4 Inner Peace & Strength
Symbol 4 Inner Peace & Strength

© Copyright  2011-2016 by Jazzybeatchick/JazZenista/Jannat Marie. All Rights Reserved.

This material is and has been copyrighted.  Feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks and added to websites; please do not change the content, and please provide credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

 

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Free Write Friday ~ How Women R Makin’ Waves and Breakin’ Free ~ HerStory featuring a video snap of “All About That Bass – Postmodern Jukebox European Tour Version”

Les Ballets Jazz De Montreal Courtesy of nac_cna.ca
Les Ballets Jazz De Montreal Courtesy of nac_cna.ca

Gender discrimination and gender segregation have posed considerable barriers to women’s musical talent. Still, many women musicians around the world challenge traditionally held beliefs about gender and women’s social status simply by playing a certain instrument or singing a certain song.”  Smithsonian Folkways Magazine

I wanted to feature some of the Phenomenal Women who have influenced, nurtured and continue to be inspirational in my life, since the 60’s when civil rights was not solely relegated to race.  Mom was my role model.  My BFF and beside the fact that she was the “best mom”; it’s because she was an educator who believed and promoted multiethnic and gender culturalism that would also include women  in order to successfully provide the catalyst for assimilation into American Life.  That meant not to segregate, but to incorporate where we all would learn about diversity and to respect and appreciate one another.  The air was so emotionally charged with racism that being “mixed race” was difficult for me to feel comfortable and fit in.  My father, forced to deal racism in the jazz world, chose not make waves by including women musicians not because of their abilities, it was because he succumbed to the insuperable chauvinism and that was steeped in the jazz tradition because he felt it would’ve made the situation worse on both fronts.  Neither agenda survived!  The decade was phenomenal in terms of growing up.  I was right in the think of it and although the 60’s decade changed the face of America’s civil and cultural revolution, 1965 was “My Year of Musical Thinking” when I fell in love with Jazz, the sound of words and modern art making it the most transformative and phenomenal year of my life. It is my frame of reference. It became my cultural compass where diversity was a substrate in every conceivable direction.

Blues Jazz Piano Courtesy freejazzlessons.com
Blues Jazz Piano Courtesy freejazzlessons.com

Comments like “She’s not supposed to play like that! And “She plays like a man” were epithets that have been uttered throughout the early life of jazz when describing women musicians at the turn of the 20th Century.  Sex discrimination, segregation and tradition have been the foremost barriers that impacted women’s musical talent and ability to perform. Still, many women musicians around the world continue to challenge and transform traditionally held beliefs about gender and women’s social status simply by playing the piano or guitar or performing a certain song.  Additionally, songwriting was something that also fell into the fray as well.

Carla Bley
Carla Bley

Bley was born in Oakland, California. Her father, a piano teacher and church choirmaster, encouraged her to sing and to learn to play the piano. After giving up the church to immerse herself in roller skating at the age of fourteen,[1] she moved to New York at seventeen and became a cigarette girl at Birdland, where she met jazz pianist Paul Bley, whom she married in 1957.[2] He encouraged her to start composing.  Courtesy of Wikipedia.

The battle of the sexes challenged the socially and culturally functioned under the assumption that men are superior to women.  Ironically, this did not apply to women musicians. Those beliefs infiltrated medicine; science and the Arts & Entertainment world, respectively.  The line in the sand of equality between men and women has become smudged because those differences lost ground at the beginning of the 20th century.  In the 60’s racial and gender differences were a celebration of those differences. In some circles of society, politically correct thinking began obscuring and diminishing those differences.   What do you think?  Peace Out! 😎 ♥

Symbol 4 Inner Peace & Strength
Symbol 4 Inner Peace & Strength

© Copyright  2011-2016 by Jazzybeatchick/JazZenista/Jannat Marie. All Rights Reserved.

This material is and has been copyrighted.  Feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks and added to websites; please do not change the content, and please provide credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

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Free Write Friday ~ 5 EZ PZ Lessons Learned 4 Living through Life’s Challenges with Mindfulness Improv ~ A Jazz Meditation. Featuring “Dreams” by DJ Ezasscul

Paul_Schutze_-_More_Beautiful_Human_Life! Courtesy of en.wikipedia.org
Paul_Schutze_-_More_Beautiful_Human_Life! Courtesy of en.wikipedia.org

Each life is formed by its unique image, an image that is the essence of that life and calls it to a destiny. As the force of fate, this image acts as a personal daimon, an accompanying guide who remembers your calling.” ~ James Hillman

This quote resonates with me on so many levels.  The only word that I would use instead of image is sound.   The inspiring force in my life constantly challenges, alludes and takes me away from that sound are discordant and devastating counter melodies that have disconnected me are fear, anticipation, control and remaining true to that force.  Breast Cancer, Guillain Barré, homelessness, the death of my parents are the major noises that interfere with hearing and feeling that daimon.  Jazz was the only sound that brings back that familiarity and sense of joy and inner peace. My thoughts and life changed course and I spend quite a bit of time meditating on Jazz, mindfulness and creating the life that remembers my calling.  It is when I had fallen in love with sound, images and words that became a portal to my inner strength and life.

Here are the 5 essential lessons that I feel deepened my practice over the past decade…

  1. Authenticity is important– vital actually – in ‘the art of mindfulness living’. To truly embody mindfulness, we need to embrace absolute authenticity in every aspect of our lives. It is the degree to which we are true to our own nature and spirit, despite external pressures the world seems to place on us.
  2. Protect and nurture mindfulness despite living in a chaotic world.  I started meditating at the tender age of eleven.  Life has taught me that in order for me to be happy; I had to adapt my thoughts to a more ‘Simplistic’ frame of mind.  I was living in excess, i.e.,  clothes, food, drink, events and other ‘Junk’ to the point that I no longer had space or time to enjoy life.  My plan was to simplify life and take time outs for walks, sitting by the water, reading, listening to jazz, dancing and just being –in a sustainable balance.
  3. Develop the ability to listen intentionally to my body-mind-spirit through sound and poetry to live with compassion and patience.  I decided to take Mindfulness Meditations by listening to jazz and writing instead of drinking or worrying or fighting and denying my feelings by accepting and breathing into those moments which now makes my suffering less intensive and gives me clarity and reminds me of my calling.
  4. Finding better ways to deal with stress and painful emotions.  I have learned, through mindfulness, to acknowledge my negative’ emotions and not react to every little upset by suppressing them or burying them.  Making different choices and to just relax and breathe!  I discovered that I can find peace even in the midst of inner storms.  My perceptions have changed and the fog has lifted.  I may not know what or where I am going, but I am confident and comfortable and back to my laid back self. Listening to music, dancing barefoot in my room or in the sand, long walks or just sitting quietly at the Marina are some of the ways to decompress and renew my inner spirit.
  5. Consistency is a vital necessity.  I have been very devoted to a formal mindfulness practice usually yoga mixed with doing art and writing at a consistent time of day early morning works best for me. I am no longer just surviving and now am living fully awakened to this phenomenal life and those who have put God’s grace and beauty in every way.  Now I am able to be a catalyst and the adventurer of this template we all call Life.

I hope my realizations and lessons are helpful to you. What about you? Share your experience and wisdom below.  Peace Out!  JBC 😎 & ♥

Symbol 4 Inner Peace & Strength
Symbol 4 Inner Peace & Strength

© Copyright  2011-2016 by Jazzybeatchick/JazZenista/Jannat Marie. All Rights Reserved.

This material is and has been copyrighted.  Feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks and added to websites; please do not change the content, and please provide credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

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Yin and Yang (or, How We Resonate)

For Free Write Friday, Here is a beautiful way of expressing Jazz in terms of conversation with each other and living in  a harmonious world! Beautifully written by Rachel Mankowitz Freshly Pressed…Peace Out! 😎 & ❤

 

rachelmankowitz

 

Some people resonate with each other, not because they are objectively the same but because they complement each other in interesting ways. We often talk about yin and yang, where two people create a whole circle, but I tend to think more of melody and harmony. It’s not a circle with no holes, it’s a song that resonates and echoes.

Cricket and Butterfly are not a perfect match. First of all, they look too much alike. They have the same color hair, both white with apricot markings in mostly the same places. And they both bark, at different pitches, but not in a harmony of beautiful sound; they are not a choir, they are a cacophony of noise. They are not the same height, but also not opposites, like big and small or fat and skinny. They are just small and smaller. They don’t fill all of the possible…

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FreeWrite Friday ~ 7 Signs You’ve Found Your Gift featuring Dave Brubeck – “Over The Rainbow” – live at Storyville ~ Poet’s Beat ~ “Invictus” by William Earnest Henley

Aaron  McCoy-a-rainbow-lands-on-a-washington-state-ferry-in-the-puget-sound-with-the-seattle-skyline-in-the-back
Aaron McCoy-a-rainbow-lands-on-a-washington-state-ferry-in-the-puget-sound-with-the-seattle-skyline-in-the-back

Yesterday when I was on my way home from the store I saw a rainbow.  It was the second rainbow I had ever seen in my adult life.  I saw the beginning and was not able to see the end.  The first time I saw a rainbow it was in Brooklyn New York and I was visiting my great grandfather who was Native American from the Ossining tribe.  There was a down pour of rain and we were sitting on the stoop outside of his three story townhouse on President Street.  He was reading the New York Times newspaper and I was reading from a reader that my Nana (his wife) gave me.  I stopped reading and I proclaimed that I wanted to write when I grew up.  Patting me on my head I believe you will be great at anything you love to do.  Do you want to know how I know that?  I looked up and he was pointing at the rainbow that hung in the sky like a constellation of beautiful colors.  I learned that a rainbow is a sign to follow our hearts desire and purpose.  What I have discovered on my spiritual journey is the symbolism of the rainbow sensing a direct deep connection with the Spirit.  Native Americans believe that the Spirit is gently reminding us to stay focused on our path and to have patience and faith that the Gifts of the Spirit will manifest in awesome and unexpected ways.  So I am going to embrace the gifts and the beauty of Nature and all the blessings from Heaven and the Universe has to offer.  Here are 7 signs I learned from the jazz lessons for living a fulfilling and happy life.

Let the beauty of what you love be what you do ~ Rilke

  1. It comes Naturally

You always feel its presence and you look forward to doing it every day.  You are drawn to it and when you do it you don’t care what the outcome is or have any expectations.

  1. It’s is recognized and praised by others

Your friends and family would tell you it is a talent you have.  They come to you for help or suggestions.

  1. It tests your abilities and inspires you to want to solve or perform it giving you a tremendous amount of satisfaction.

You find it exhilarating to write or paint or play the guitar, you lose track of time you feel that you are off balance if you don’t do it on a regular basis.

  1. You believe and have faith in your abilities.

Sometimes it seems frustrating but you keep going back to it in your mind until you come to a resolution and you are satisfied.

  1. It is timeless.

You never tire of doing or thinking about it.  You get excited and feel complete when you reach the place where you are connected in mind-body-soul.

  1. It integrates all aspects of who you are.

It complements every aspect of your life.  When you use your ability in more than one area of your life, you are actualized and you see the world differently.

  1. It’s Larger than Life

When you are overwhelmed you find that your ability becomes hyper-vigilant and others using their talents will join you in an effort for the benefit of all.  Musicians demonstrate this when jamming or performing on stage.  It is electric and euphoric.

 

Here is a poem that my father and mother used to read to me when I was three years old instead of a bedtime story.  I would recite and copy into my hand made journal with pictures and drawings for inspiration to be resourceful and wait through the strife and hardship that life brings.  Peace & Love Out!  JBC 😎 & ❤

Invictus

by William Earnest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud,
Under the bludgeoning of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

© Copyright  2011-2014 by Jazzybeatchick/JazZenista/Jannat Marie. All rights reserved.

This material is has been copyrighted,  feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks and added to websites; please do not change the content, provide credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

FreeWrite Friday ~ 5 Eazy Peazy Steps to Transform & InspireYour Life with the Secret Habits of Jazz Living ~ Step 1 Responsibility with Oprah on Taking Responsibility for Your Life featuring New Age Jazz – Inner Peace

FreeWrite Friday

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.  Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility. For the person who is unwilling to grow up, the person who does not want to carry its own weight, this is a frightening prospect.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt

 

Step 1: Taking Responsibility for Your life

When I conceptualized my blog last November, I knew that I wanted to write posts focusing on mindfulness meditations about life and how I could actualize my dreams. I began clearing all the cobwebs from my past that no longer applied or stained my perspectives when preparing for the present and the future. I realize that I have carried around images of myself that have been tainted by my breast cancer, reliving my mother’s death in 2003; and the complications from my GBS and BrCa that continue to haunt me affecting my image of my body and life. I realized I must take responsibility and accountability of my life to flip the script to creating who I am. before I can change my life, first I must take full responsibility.   It means to stop blaming others – the demanding employer, ungrateful children, unpredictable weather, irritating spouse, unreliable friend, useless government, unfavorable circumstances, an unjust God – and instead realize that you are the creator of your own life story.  So I see myself living through the worse aspects of breast cancer and the complications associated and see myself  making healthier choices and to deal with the issues as they arise.

Life Lesson from Albert Einstein
Life Lesson from Albert Einstein

 

Consciousness raising is the key element here. We are conditioned to conduct our lives unconsciously resembling watching a movie of living life on auto pilot and automatically reacting to everything and everyone.  What we can do now is take a deep breath, realize that we have a choice and that the first choice is whether we want to simply react in a reflex-like manner or whether we want to make a conscious decision of what the best course of action is. Begin by taking responsibility for everything that has happened in your life so far. The difference is that in the past we unconsciously created undesired effects by not being present and behavior we have learned from others.  Realize that we can intentionally have thoughts to create the lives we have always dreamed of.  Responsibility means that it is not based on duty and assigning blame and guilt but embracing your life through your thoughts, your actions and your decisions. It is a question of cause and effect and hopefully a shift from unconscious creation to conscious creation.  The quality of our decisions is a totally different story and will be discussed in future posts.  Once we have decided to become the conscious creators of our lives, a whole wide world of opportunity arises and opens up its gates to an ideally purposeful life.  Please have a look at Oprah on Taking Responsibility for Your Life – Oprah’s LifeclassOprah Winfrey Network.  What do you create in your life?  Are you living the life you want?  Peace & Love Out!  JBC 😎 & ❤

© Copyright  2011-2014 by Jazzybeatchick/JazZenista/Jannat Marie. All rights reserved.

This material is has been copyrighted,  feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks and added to websites; please do not change the content, provide credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

Free Write Friday ~ “In and Out Of Time” by Maya Angelou featuring An Animation of the Poem

FreeWrite Friday

Thanksgiving is over and as we move into the Christmas season I like to reflect back on the concept of Timing.  In and Out of Time is a very timeless poem in the sense that it conjures up feelings that are trés cool and always brings me to the time where I was happiest and care free…Peace & Love Out!  JBC 😎 & ❤

 

“In and Out Of Time”

by Maya Angelou

The sun has come.

The mist has gone.

We see in the distance…

our long way home.

I was always yours to have.

You were always mine.

We have loved each other in and out of time.

When the first stone looked up at the blazing sun

and the first tree struggled up from the forest floor

I had always loved you more.

You freed your braids…

gave your hair to the breeze.

It hummed like a hive of honey bees.

I reached in the mass for the sweet honey comb there….

God…how I love your hair.

You saw me bludgeoned by circumstance.

Lost, injured, hurt by chance.

I screamed to the heavens….loudly screamed….

Trying to change our nightmares to dreams…

The sun has come.

The mist has gone.

We see in the distance our long way home.

I was always yours to have.

You were always mine.

We have loved each other in and out

in and out

in and out

of time.

© Copyright  2011-2014 by Jazzybeatchick/JazZenista/Jannat Marie. All rights reserved.

This material is has been copyrighted,  feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks and added to websites; please do not change the content, provide credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

Free Write Friday ~ A Chick with a Plan featuring John Coltrane – My One And Only Love

FreeWrite Friday

 

“Life is a lot like Jazz… it’s best when you improvise.” ~ George Gershwin

 

I woke up this morning to gray skies with the air punctuated with a gentle rain. Fall seems to be just around the corner. Resistance has taught me to realize that sometimes I can be my own worst enemy which spirals into full blown sleepwalking.  I am disconnected from the present.  Fear that my secret will come to light.  I cannot find the exact moment that my life fell apart. Holidays sometimes brings on these feelings of resistance – pain, being abandoned, feelings of naught measuring up.  Old tapes begin to play tricks with my mind I hear “You can’t write,  you will never finish your plans to write a memoir, blah, blah, blah.”  I just wanted the pain of the brokenness to stop. I knew I could make a better choice, but it was the last thing I thought I could do. The other choice was to give myself permission to feel the pain, fear, and devastation of my world.  So I stop, focus on my breath and reconnect with my heart and soul.  Everything that happens externally is a reflection of what goes on internally. Mindfulness improv gives us the power to change our perspective.  If you  start by focusing on one belief it will transform it and the healing will be reflected outwardly. It’s this realization that prompted me to start mindfulness improvisation with jazz as the template, the catalyst of the mindfulness and sound creates the space where we can all learn to heal, and not just exist or We all have the amazing potential to create purpose, passion, and joy in life, but first we need to believe and graciously accept the fact that we truly deserve it.

I feel so alive and energized. But I kept hearing my dad’s voice about my change in attitude. So I stopped and allowed the fear to run its course, you’re not good enough, you’ll never get it, it said. Change is life’s mainstay. Perfection, fear and change cannot take center stage at the same time. So, this past week I opted for change. Life has become way more fun, open and I accept the imperfections because they are part of the process. The discomfort that creeps into the space of doubt about sailing into uncharted waters, serves as a gentle reminder and allows me to be more creative.

Life through Elizabeth Catletts eyes Courtesy of Pinterestdotcom

Letting go of how things were, no matter how fractured things may seem, is not an easy task. It takes a ginormous amount of energy and courage to let go because it is an inside job. It instills grace. Grace to forgive myself and others, to let go of ideas of who I think I am or should be and how I think things and others should be. This allows me to surrender, replacing my old negative thoughts with hope. Change happens whether I choose to be a part or not. Fear is human. Most of us feel at one point or another something that makes us afraid. When I change my thoughts from Why is this happening to me to I have dealt with circumstances like this before and reflect and remember them, the fear stops dead in its tracks.  Developing the courage to walk along side your fears and transforming the steps (words) in a direction of what you want, the possibly be fearful and being positive cannot exist at the same time.  You cannot be afraid and have faith that things will get better.  You begin to walk your positive self talk and there is a shift in not only your mood but a shift in your perspective.  Change any overly independent thoughts such as “I’ll handle this alone” to “I have many sources of help, if I simply ask.” Shift any terrorizing thoughts such as “This is THE worst thing that could happen to me” to “I’ve handled other challenges in my life, and I’m sure I’ll survive this one.”  My new mantra has become, “Let go and Let God!” My dream is to create the life thru mindfulness improvisation will express a talent from me and a gift for you!  My real name is JazZenista a.k.a. Jazzybeatchick all growed up!  Peace & Love Out!  JZN! ❤ & 😎  P.S.  Happy Halloween!

Japanese translation for meaning
Japanese translation for meaning

Copyright © 2011-2014 by Jazzybeatchick/JazZenista/Jannat Marie. All rights reserved.

This material is has been copyrighted,  feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks and added to websites; please do not change the content, provide credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

Free Write Friday ~ H.A.T.E.R.’s, Jazz, The Fog of Breast Cancer, and BFF’s Sounds by: Gil Fuller & Monterey Jazz Festival – A Patch Of Blue – Feat. James Moody

FreeWrite Friday

 Music is the space between the notes…”  ~ Claude Debussy

My mother and I were more than best friends forever (BFF’s), we were sister warriors in the battle against breast cancer.  This journey began over sixteen years ago on October of 1997 after dad died.  I was truly blessed because mom taught me the significance and grace of unconditionally loving another person, and she has always encouraged me and supported me in every aspect of my life.  We stemmed the tides of loss, grief and pain throughout the whole process.  We were each other’s caregivers.

Romare Bearden Collage1
Romare Bearden Collage1

If someone isn’t what others want them to be, the others become angry. Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own.”  ~ Paulo Coehlo

Dad introduced and taught me using valuable jazz lessons how to handle the rigors of the harsh realities of choosing to live a creative life.  Initially, I was confused about what I wanted to be when I grew up.  My father didn’t want me to go into music, dance, acting, blah, blah blah because he was angry at the way the “Arts” treated women.  He thought it was safer to be a doctor.  He would get angry and tell me that it was no place for a lady!  In my father’s case I believed that he wanted to become a doctor.  He was a man of intensity and commitment and I never really knew that he felt he was protecting me.  Looking back I realized it was his way of preparing me to stand my ground and confront my ego, negative thoughts, fear, failure and the challenges that we all face by accepting that like change it is necessary for us to connect with our God given spiritual gifts.  Leaning in and coming face to face with a challenge it signals that you have to awaken to those gifts using them to overcome it.

The rutlandcitypublicschoolsdotorg Jazz Music
The rutlandcitypublicschoolsdotorg Jazz Music

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.” ~ Paulo Coehlo

The possibility of living a creative life transformed me by using mindfulness improvisation!  is when “Jazz” the Catalyst”  has ability to interact in a manner specific to the intensity of the vibration frequency of “Cancer” connecst with the higher consciousness “mindfulness improv” that will enlighten, inspire, provide the energy that becomes the “substrate” that changes you.  Listening is a portal giving you the ability to discern the egos “chatter of negativity from what resides in the heart of fear.  It wasn’t an option in that moment.  It was like breathing.

Pablo Picasso Painting
Pablo Picasso Painting

And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

Fortunately I discovered I have to write because it gives me the sense of who I am.  It was the response to the Call to the life that was given me.  When I combine the blessing my father gave me “jazz” when he took me to rehearsals, festivals, recording sessions;  and his introduction to the players like, Dizzy GillespieJames MoodyCount BasieIgor Stravinsky, and Ralph J. Gleason and  Charles Champlin of L.A. Times that  individually and collectively inspired and nurtured me to devote myself to a creative life.  I thought I was secretly writing in my journals — poetry and lyrical prose/essay that I created when dad was composing songs on the piano downstairs in 1963.  I was surprised to found that he knew all about my writing secretly in my room when I found in the Gibson guitar case he gave me when I was 9.  I opened it up and found all of my writing nestled between sheet music.  It was my Aha! Moment when I realized what a blessing my father gave me of living wonderfully enchanted life of musical thinking where my words can separate sound from music. Writing was my Response to my life’s adversities like cancer, writer’s block

I am truly NOT a H.A.T.E.R.(Having Anger Toward Everyone Reaching Success) of Breast Cancer….

The minute the word cancer entered our house, everything changed. I felt desperate and frightened by the prospect of cancer and another death.  But I refused to take this lying down.  I dove directly into the cresting wave of the unknown and sprung into action—there were logistics to deal with and mom needed support.  I moved back in with her after dad’s death and we struggled with missing dad, but also dealing with taxes and issues related to her therapy.

Chemotherapy is brutal. Radiation was something way beyond that.. The goal of these therapies is to kill everything in your body before it kills you. I wanted to take the burden off her. When dad had his massive stroke he was on a respirator and in a coma we asked my brother to make a tape of dad’s music to play continuously in his ears.  After ten days, he was out of the coma and was breathing on his own.  You can’t tell me that God didn’t have a role in that.

Surreal Last Exit

‘My heart is afraid that it will have to suffer,’ the boy told the alchemist one night as they looked up at the moonless sky. ‘Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.‘”  ~ Paolo Coehlo

Chemotherapy makes everyone suffer.  Facing fear and suffering I decided to bring a tape of my father’s music into the chemo suite when she had chemo and radiation therapy and it majestically made the most terrifying moments evaporate from both of us. It not only served as a connection between the two of us, it was a connection for the other patients and the hospital staff as well.   We laughed and interacted with one patient in particular, Pat.  Pat had colon cancer.  It had metastasized and spread to her bone.  I met her when I had my mastectomy and she lay in the bed next to me after surgery.  Mom came in and waited for me to come around.  I opened my eyes and there they were.  What a beautiful sight.  Apparently mom and Pat formed a bond.  When mom had the pick put in, Pat hovered over me like a lioness guarding her cubs.  After the pick was in mom, she developed a serious infection they could not control.  After a week, mom was moved to a nursing home in Paramus New Jersey for 90 days.  I couldn’t drive so Pat would come and sit on my bed holding the phone while we talked to mom and talked until the nurse came in and told us she would have the phone removed. Mom had two daughters now.  That spring all we did was laugh and act silly….More to come… See you between the words…, Peace and Love Out! JBC -8) & <3.

Japanese translation for meaning
Japanese translation for meaning

© Copyright 2011-2014  by Jannat Marie/Jazzybeatchick. All rights Reserved.

This material has been copyrighted, feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks or added to websites; please do not change the original content and please provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name or visual artist @ http://jazzybeatchick.com your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.

FreeWrite Friday ~ “Makeup on Empty Space” by Anne Waldman accompanied by Ray Charles & Diana Krall ~ performing “You Don’t Know Me”

Today marks my 1000th post on Tumblr a very close relative of WordPress.  I am so blessed to have the WP family in my life.   So I am in a celebrating this joyous mood and we are going to flash back to my favorite decade…the 60’s.  I remember sitting and watching my mom getting all gussied up for the Grammy Awards in 1966.  This poem captured how mom really felt about wearing make-up.  It began when she was a teenager.  She hated freckles.  Pancake make-up was what all the glamorous actresses and models were wearing.  Her skin was clear, except for the dag gone bloomin’ freckles, yet her skin was so soft to the touch.  Her hazel eyes sparkled as she was putting on her red lipstick.  Red lipstick back in the 60’s was hot and hip.  When I used to get into her make up and costume jewelry I always admired mom of course, but I loved Audrey HepburnFunny Face always comes to mind because it symbolized in its theme and dialogue with Cary Grant and Audrey was the epitome of what mindfulness Improvisation is all about in every shade you can imagine.

I selected Ray Charles and Diana Krall singing a duet as a sort of call and response and play on makeup where the face becomes a blank canvas that is the idea of creating persona’s.  In mom’s case it was completely different from who she really was to me.  Going up we had a public life and a private life.  Being a racially mixed girl it was confusing and difficult to find a place to fit outside of our home on Wilton Place especially my bedroom.  There I was free to create any persona as well as deal with the truth that was happening just outside our front door.  So, how about doing the chores to this tempo and have fun with it.  Peace & Love Out!  JBC 😎 & ❤

Makeup on Empty Space

BY ANNE WALDMAN

I am putting makeup on empty space

all patinas convening on empty space

rouge blushing on empty space

I am putting makeup on empty space

pasting eyelashes on empty space

painting the eyebrows of empty space

piling creams on empty space

painting the phenomenal world

I am hanging ornaments on empty space

gold clips, lacquer combs, plastic hairpins on empty space

I am sticking wire pins into empty space

I pour words over empty space, enthrall the empty space

packing, stuffing jamming empty space

spinning necklaces around empty space

Fancy this, imagine this: painting the phenomenal world

bangles on wrists

pendants hung on empty space

I am putting my memory into empty space

undressing you

hanging the wrinkled clothes on a nail

hanging the green coat on a nail

dancing in the evening it ended with dancing in the evening

I am still thinking about putting makeup on empty space

I want to scare you: the hanging night, the drifting night,

the moaning night, daughter of troubled sleep I want to scare you

you

I bind as far as cold day goes

I bind the power of 20 husky men

I bind the seductive colorful women, all of them

I bind the massive rock

I bind the hanging night, the drifting night, the

moaning night, daughter of troubled sleep

I am binding my debts, I magnetize the phone bill

bind the root of my pointed tongue

I cup my hands in water, splash water on empty space

water drunk by empty space

Look what thoughts will do   Look what words will do

from nothing to the face

from nothing to the root of the tongue

from nothing to speaking of empty space

I bind the ash tree

I bind the yew

I bind the willow

I bind uranium

I bind the uneconomical unrenewable energy of uranium

dash uranium to empty space

I bind the color red I seduce the color red to empty space

I put the sunset in empty space

I take the blue of his eyes and make an offering to empty space

renewable blue

I take the green of everything coming to life, it grows &

climbs into empty space

I put the white of the snow at the foot of empty space

I clasp the yellow of the cat’s eyes sitting in the

black space I clasp them to my heart, empty space

I want the brown of this floor to rise up into empty space

Take the floor apart to find the brown,

bind it up again under spell of empty space

I want to take this old wall apart I am rich in my mind thinking

of this, I am thinking of putting makeup on empty space

Everything crumbles around empty space

the thin dry weed crumbles, the milkweed is blown into empty space

I bind the stars reflected in your eye

from nothing to these typing fingers

from nothing to the legs of the elk

from nothing to the neck of the deer

from nothing to porcelain teeth

from nothing to the fine stand of pine in the forest

I kept it going when I put the water on

when I let the water run

sweeping together in empty space

There is a better way to say empty space

Turn yourself inside out and you might disappear

you have a new definition in empty space

What I like about impermanence is the clash

of my big body with empty space

I am putting the floor back together again

I am rebuilding the wall

I am slapping mortar on bricks

I am fastening the machine together with delicate wire

There is no eternal thread, maybe there is thread of pure gold

I am starting to sing inside about the empty space

there is some new detail every time

I am taping the picture I love so well on the wall:

moonless black night beyond country-plaid curtains

everything illuminated out of empty space

I hang the black linen dress on my body

the hanging night, the drifting night, the moaning night

daughter of troubled sleep

This occurs to me

I hang up a mirror to catch stars, everything occurs to me out in the

night in my skull of empty space

I go outside in starry ice

I build up the house again in memory of empty space

This occurs to me about empty space

that it is nevered to be mentioned again

Fancy this

imagine this

painting the phenomenal world

there’s talk of dressing the body with strange adornments

to remind you of a vow to empty space

there’s talk of the discourse in your mind like a silkworm

I wish to venture into a not-chiseled place

I pour sand on the ground

Objects and vehicles emerge from the fog

the canyon is dangerous tonight

suddenly there are warning lights

The patrol is helpful in the manner of guiding

there is talk of slowing down

there is talk of a feminine deity

I bind her with a briar

I bind with the tooth of a tiger

I bind with my quartz crystal

I magnetize the worlds

I cover myself with jewels

I drink amrita

there is some new detail

there is a spangle on her shoe

there is a stud on her boot

the tires are studded for the difficult climb

I put my hands to my face

I am putting makeup on empty space

I wanted to scare you with the night that scared me

the drifting night, the moaning night

Someone was always intruding to make you forget empty space

you put it all on

you paint your nails

you put on scarves

all the time adorning empty space

Whatever-your-name-is I tell you “empty space”

with your fictions with dancing come around to it

with your funny way of singing come around to it

with your smiling come to it

with your enormous retinue & accumulation come around to it

with your extras come round to it

with your good fortune, with your lazy fortune come round to it

when you look most like a bird, that is the time to come around to it

when you are cheating, come to it

when you are in your anguished head

when you are not sensible

when you are insisting on the

praise from many tongues

It begins with the root of the tongue

it begins with the root of the heart

there is a spinal cord of wind

singing & moaning in empty space

Anne Waldman, “Makeup on Empty Space” from Helping the Dreamer: Selected Poems, 1966-1988. Copyright © 1989 by Anne Waldman. Reprinted with the permission of Coffee House Press, Minneapolis, www.coffeehousepress.com.

Source: Helping the Dreamer: Selected Poems 1966-1988 (Coffee House Press, 1989)

Japanese translation for meaning
Japanese translation for meaning

Copyright © 2011-2014 by Jannat Marie/Jazzybeatchick. All rights Reserved.

This material has been copyrighted,  feel free to share it with others; it can be distributed via social media or pingbacks or added to websites; please do not change the original content and, provide appropriate credit by including the author’s name @ http://jazzybeatchick.com and your readers shall not be charged by you under any circumstance.