“Before, things had to look a certain way for me. In order to experience joy, I had to win: I had to be the best at what I did. If not, there was no joy. Now, that has changed, and you know what left with that? The suffering. That doesn’t mean that I no longer have goals or projects: it just means that my fulfillment no longer depends on their outcome. Now, I put all of my passion into creating and exploring my pursuits, but if something doesn’t turn out as planned, I no longer suffer.” Isha Judd
Wait a minute…that was me for most of my life! Folks would probably describe me as a late bloomer. I hated that term. Living in a world where fourteen year olds are winning The Voice or Master Chef Junior I felt as though I had been wasting my life. So, I had to step back and breathe and take a good look at what was really going on. I grew up in the 60s, yes, that means I am at the age that when I was fourteen was ancient! Ah Oh. But I had to gently remind myself that it is the journey that matters, not the destination…. When I was growing up it was a time in America where everything and anything was being challenged, civil rights, women’s rights, cultural transformation from the 50’s and the Depression Era, technology was in its infancy, so I spent most of my time doing things with my father and hanging in the Jazz world. It was a departure from the racial tension and discomfort of the times. The Hippies were the counterculture that questioned life and departed from the ideals that prevailed in their parents’ generation. So, all things considered, had I not gone through what I did, I would not be who I am today.
Today, putting all of my passion into creating and bringing my pursuits into the light is something that I have to do on a moment to moment basis. Originally my spinney senses believed that it was going to be hard and tedious. I have been mindlessly following my ego around and as a result abandoned all hopes of realizing and actualizing my true creative and imaginative self. The self-criticism and being hard on myself made my life miserable and quite frustrating. I believe that I am a Jazz literary artist and my instruments are words, Improvisation, compassion, and imagination. Mindfulness meditation is a way to clear my path to self expression ~ the greatest form of improvisation, Now I focus on “being” rather than “having”. Living in this moment to its fullest extent instead of a mere object of my desire,. Everything becomes so clear and stands on its own. Desires are my dreams. I realize that what makes it so mysteriously majestic is that I can remain detached from the dream and at the same time attached to feeling and sensations that reside in that moment. In order for improvisation to truly happen, I must to be engaged, and letting go of any attachment of how things “should” look or “be”. This is what brings me so much joy. In this moment I am transformed into this incredible energy of joy because I realize that improvisation is the ultimate art of self-expression. That is my rainbow within, Joy in its purest sense. Letting go and letting the Divine set me free. How about you? Where do you find your energy and passion from within? Peace & Love Out! JBC 😎 & ❤
The foundation of MUM’s Creative Musical Arts program is the profound connection between music, consciousness, and creativity. This provides a holistic, innovative approach to musicianship that allows each student to develop his/her unique artistic voice.@ http://www.mum.edu/music
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