Day 7. I woke up this morning to gray skies and a light rain. Spring seems to be knocking at the door. I had my morning cup of java, Starbucks Natural fusions Cinnamon, it was so refreshing as I looked out the window meditating on today’s post. I survived a week of writing my blog. I am putting the finishing touches on my grant that’s due on Tuesday. I feel so alive and energized. But I kept hearing my dad’s voice about my change in attitude. So I stopped and allowed the fear to run its course, you’re not good enough, you’ll never get it, it said. Change is life’s mainstay. Perfection, fear and change cannot take center stage at the same time. So, this past week I opted for change. Life has become way more fun, open and I accept the imperfections because they are part of the process. The discomfort that creeps into the space of doubt about sailing into uncharted waters, serves as a gentle reminder and allows me to be more creative. Letting go of how things were, no matter how fractured things may seem, is not an easy task. It takes a ginormous amount of energy and courage to let go because it is an inside job. It instills grace. Grace to forgive myself and others, to let go of ideas of who I think I am or should be and how I think things and others should be. This allows me to surrender, replacing my old negative thoughts with hope. Change happens whether I choose to be a part or not. It’s only been seven days, however, I believe it has been the most exhilarating seven days that I have felt in a long time. My new mantra has become, “Let go and Let God!” Peace out!
Published by jazzenbeatchick
I love to take literary, visual and acoustic snapshots of the spaces that have filled my life. Jazz has functioned as a communal bond, ritual and form of social interaction. It has become more than just sounds. It has become a way of living in this world. Jazz has never been about music, it is the touchstone of modern cultural imagination, archiving mythical images and an aesthetic paradigm for new modes of writing, seeing, hearing and moving. I like to use the improvisational elements of jazz that I have experienced to develop different creative literary tapestry that uses all sensory input. Improvisation is the willingness to connect to every aspect of life. Jazz Imitates life through self expression and improvisation. When I was 18, my dad arranged for me to work as a research/ writer intern on an ABC-TV Emmy-winning television documentary special on Jazz Music in 1972. I was assigned segments that focused on Big Band sound and Bebop. I discovered that the jazz tradition has stood up against the backdrop of racial strife, language, class and gender issues which is defined in literature and criticism for over 75 years in America. I have always had a fascination with creating works that would allow me to blend sound with words and abstract art. It is my desire to create a mosaic sensory experience using imagination, audio and visual experiences that are filled with the richness of childhood memories that shaped and inspired my thoughts. View all posts by jazzenbeatchick